Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Saved by Johnny Cash !

I have found the James Bond prop ! Found it ! A pen that makes pictures of people I want to point out to you guys to make my stories more visible (and a picture says so much more than words).
See the picture below in this post ? Well, it's the person on the left I'm going to write about....
Almost every morning, since I had my little shop, I'm having breakfast somewhere in town, so I can skip lunch to leave the shop open for my 'lunchbreak customers'....
It's nice, b-fast is my fav time of the day and we are fortuned to have lots of places in Antwerp that open even at 7AM.
So, this morning, my choice fell on Ma***ko, the place with the nice view outside (remember my post a week or 2 ago ?), to have a nice and quiet coffee + egg and because it's not crowded, I am pretty sure I can do a little reading and work on my knitwear. No people I know to talk here ; I wasn't in a talking mood anyway...
So, I came in, doubted if I would sit outside but the rain drove me inside.
Wanted some warmth too.
I chose my spot next to the window (so I could still enjoy a bit of that view) and ordered me a coffee + soft boiled egg.
Next to me, an empty table but next to that table, 2 at first view innocent looking women.
I'm sitting down and in merely 2 minutes I sense that I'm not going to have that quiet breakfast of mine.
The woman you see on the left in the picture, has a squeaky and loud voice that fills the whole place. She talks very loudly to her compagnion, as I later on will unmask as her househelp/compagnion lady...
At first, the voice doesn't bother me and she seems a bit funny and full of energy for her age...
Aaahhh, her age, first subject of this morning. She turns to me and says ; I'm 80, doesn't show - does it ? And I'm still fit and the usual crap you hear from the annoying kind of elderly people.
Luckily she's polite and turns back to her compagnion, that she has invited to have this part of the day with her. I get my coffee and my egg and start to eat and enjoy my own little feast.
Now, the fuse it lit and she begins bla-bla-ing her head off and pretty soon I'm into the story of her life. She talks in a bitter/cynical way that she was waiting for her daughter and son-in-law all weekend (it had been her birthday actually = 80 !!) and they didn't show up...I'm beginning to understand why at this point.
She then talks of her other children, her son, he works at the Tropical Institute and she explains that, we he does come over to visit her, he always sits outside on her terrace and doesn't speak a word. 
He must have inherited this from his father (that's my guess).
She says ; he's always thinking, in his heart, he always has stayed a student ...? WTF ?
What kind of university did he go to ?
He already scares me even before I have met the guy ; quiet guys with dominant mothers turn out to be psychos ....but I'm drifting.
Her daughter-in-law (now I don't know if she's the one married to the psycho or the older woman has another son) has had 3 kids during her lifetime and madam explains, she's not the working kind. That's normal, she bla-bla's on : when you have 3 kids - you MUST stop working.
You just must, no mother with 3 kids is allowed to work and bring her kids to a creche.
WTF ? I'm gettin' a little annoyed at this point. 
(meanwhile  I'm done with my egg and started on my knitwear...)
She probably noticed I was knitting now and suddenly I hear the word 'knitting'...
She goes on and on about knitting, it's not for her (she probably doesn't know HOW to knit) and how expensive this is and SO much work...(I think my cheeks must have turned red now and I'm almost exploding into ...go on then, gab along...I'm not in the room)
Another couple that has entered Ma***ko, are a bit annoyed too by her and I get a meaningful look from the lady.
What also becomes clear to me, is, that this other woman isn't family to her, not even a friend but someone tricked into having breakfast with her. Ten minutes ago she was still speaking to her in a polite and clear voice but lowered it every minute that passed by.
She also has a Eastern European accent (poor woman and she seems nice, doesn't she ?) In the picture her head is still 15 inches away from the table, ten minutes later she's wishes she was under the table..oh yeah, the best is yet to come.
The woman on the left carries on talking about stuff and nonsense and suddenly she squeaks :
How lovely is this, to have a good meal in the morning and isn't it SO much FUN ?
Before the poor woman can answer back, she goes on loudly : and isn't it nice to be SERVED YOURSELF for a change ??!!
Uh Oh ! This sounds very German 1939....
I think my eyebrows have reached their highest point ever !!
I'm shocked and trust me, I'm not shocked easily anymore and now I see the head of the lady next to me go down and down and she has reached the 1 inch from the table distance.
Also between her wonderful comments and views, the woman in black, mentions she can't eat the bread (it's chuncky and tasty, as I like it) because she has no teeth !! Do I hear this right ?
Bon Appetit ! No teeth !!
She changes the subject to her first husband (poor bast*rd) and says he was working very hard during his lifetime (sure he was, every single moment away from her was a good excuse to work HARD) and that she has worked hard too and ...now it comes - she assisted on ALL of his operations !!!
OMG, I'm setting next to a serial killer ; Rose West has escaped from jail !
The lady of the couple in the room is explaining what she just said to her husband, as he couldn't believe his ears either.
Again, the no-teeth are mentioned (head of the woman in blue hits the table now)...
She orders another coffee, asks her invitée if she likes anything else to drink but I knew the answer from her before the question was asked ...no, she was ok ...(that's a BIG understatement).
The old b*t stands up, goes towards the bar and orders her a coffee and explains to the bartender that she's stiff (Oh don't we all wish she was stiff) and gives us the usefull info she also has a 'defibrilator' in her body...the moment she falls down, the tool in her body starts her up again (what stupid doctor ever had this idea for this woman ?, I can see her companion thinking)
Coffee is brought to her table and again : the no-teeth are mentioned...
Ok, I've had it, off to my cosy shop now and yes, to be sure we all heard her, she mentions : NO-TEETH again !! 
4 times in less than half an hour !! Record broken !!
I hear the other lady thanking her for the breakfast and you see her mind working in what excuse would get her out together with me as quickly as possible !
During the 3rd and 4th time of the no-teeth info ; I hear Johnny Cash through the speakers ; turned up a little bit louder to overwelm that voice you just want to shut up...so, I guess I was saved a little by Johnny Cash today ....


diane said...

At first glance, I thought it was a man.
Now that was a story we could really sink our teeth in to, haha!

Dominica said...


and to make the day complete, just half an hour before I close up ; this horrible hysterical kid from hell was in my store !
Never seen this before...

Alessandra said...

Hahahaha...Diane is hilarious.

I am sorry D, it sucks to be stuck with a picture of a mouth lacking teeth while having your meal.

The annoying people are everywhere, not only here in the US as I thought...lol