Friday, 8 May 2009

Hair Police

In the building where I live, there's this lovely Dutch woman that I see from time to time in the elevator or in our hallway.
She's a dashing brunette, tall and even though she is a grandmother, it doesn't show.
A couple of months ago, when I met her in the building, I noticed she already cut her hair a bit shorter.  I found it a shame because her longer hair gave her this funky edge and it's not often that a 50+ woman looks fabulous with longer hair instead of short.
What I didn't like about her shorter 'coupe' was that it made me think of Queen Beatrix or our former Queen Fabiola. These can be real sweet ladies in the flesh but the hair makes them look ridiculous from time to time. It's the kind of hair that would survive any whirlwind or twister.
Nevertheless, my upstairs neighbour was still a beautiful woman.
A few weeks ago, I was waiting downstairs for the elevator to come and I was also looking through the door that leads to our garage to hear if hubby was coming...
I heard the elevator moving and the doors opened up.
I turned around to catch it for the ride upstairs and to my shock and horror, my once so beautiful upstairs neighbour came out.
Her hair was dyed platinum white and the hairdresser had put her hair into 'mise-en-plis'...(imagine Dot from Eastenders - times ten)
What kind of hairdresser gets this idea into his head ?
This was a make-over but in reverse style : make-under !!
This was another low in the woman's haircut.
I've been mentioning this to Lindsay - my dear hairdresser and I promised her, if I could convince the poor woman, pretty soon she would have a new client.
Now, how does one bring this on gently ? 
Difficult but no mission impossible for me !
Last Saturday I crossed her in the street ; she waved hello the moment she saw me and I was ready to strike !

me : Oh, hi hello, still have to get used to your new haircolor...(friendly and walking over the meat her)
she : yes, I know - I still have to get used to it myself (looking glum whilst speaking these words)
me : aren't you happy with it ?
she : no and my children think it's just horrible, they can't get used to it.
me : did you hairdresser put you up to dye it this blonde ?
she : (and this is just something I can't understand from some of you haircutting bast*rds) my hair was in a bad condition, very dry and even (due to stress) starting to fall out..
me thinking to myself : Oh yeah, that's the way to do it !
Take all the colour out of this nice woman's hair and put some freakin' nuclear peroxide on it !
I guess her hair must have been 'smoking' when they nuked her !!
she : yes, and I'm reluctant to go to another hairdresser cause I meet them in Delhaize (supermarket in our building) and so...
me : (thinking) poor woman !
And then in a  comforting but firm way : here you go, her's a card from Lindsay - her salon is close to our home and she's ever so sweet ! She'll treat you and your hair like a celebrity !
She does my colour too...
she : (almost with tears in her eyes) and your hair shines like nothing else will ever shine.
It looks so nice.

I hope she has the nerve to stand up to this torturer with no taste and fashion sense.
By getting her this horrendous old fashioned colour and cut, I've seen wrinkles on her that I have never seen before in 3 years.
I should just make a peroxide-molotov-cocktail and throw it through their salon-window (if I ever find out who that hairdresser is btw)
I informed Lindsay this morning on the fact I gave her the card and she declared me officially as Dominica, the Hair Police !!
High five to that !

to be continued...


diane said...

She needs to start now, by deep conditioning her hair. And she should skip the fancy hair masks and go straight to the olive oil. After her hair has had a chance to rest from the bleaching, about 4 weeks, she should go to your hairdresser and have them put a gentle color through it. Maybe you could invite her for a "girls" day at the salon.
Your involvement inspires me.

Dominica said...


Good idea, the girls day ; Lindsay used to work in the USA so she knows how to treat people well ! I'm seeing her on Monday so if she does an open door day again - I will invite this lady !!
Good thinking !!

Jack Daniel said...

definitely one of the most hilarious post ever....

Hair Police??


Girl Interrupted said...

Oh, that poor woman! Some hairdressers can be ridiculously intimidating.

Yay, for the Hair Police! :P

Have a lovely weekend, Dominica :)

amanda said...

Wow you are so brave. I would never be able to bring something like that up with someone.