Tuesday, 31 March 2009

What the hell should we buy her ?

You know what I really really dislike (read : hate) ?
Doing mandatory numbers that will take SO much of your time while you could be doing something completely different and creative (read : fun) instead.
I have this 'M-number' coming up somewhere in my very near future and despite the improving weather, I'm hoping that we will have very bad days of rain and greyness in between, just to make sure that it's impossible to organize any form of BBQ.
I have a very small family myself and after my parents died, family M-numbers have been reduced to minus zero. I'd rather choose my friends myself than being stuck with people that just don't give a sh*t about you (the kind that asks you a question but doesn't listen to your answer and knows everything better)
So, the little family that's still left has been 'begging' me to attend a dinnerparty (I've begged for a BBQ as a compromise ; BBQ's are mostly held in gardens (haha) so I can escape and climb into a tree or hide in a bush). So, who am I hiding from ? Remember those old BBC's series called 'Carry On...' ?
Well, one of the main actors is/was Kenneth Williams and physically he reminds me of the 'Blair Witch meets Cruella meets Hyancint Bucket'-woman I'm so desperate trying to avoid in any way I can.
I hardly see or meet the woman (thank God !) but occasionally, she pops up in our scene of other mandatory numbers (oh well, maybe more mandatory to me...) and it sounds evil but I just don't want the woman or her whining/nagging husband in my circle of trust. My circle of trust has a width of, well let's say ...15 km ..?!
That should do !
What the hell should I be talking about with such a creature ? Don't misunderstand me, I DO have respect for the elderly and there are some lovely people that I know and I love to listen to their stories (but they should sound like 'The Notebook' kinda stories, not told in a squeaky, schrill voice and when drunk even worse and LOUD !)
And I believe in modesty, in any kind of way ... blague and exxageration doesn't tickle my fancy in people.
Less is more !
So, what I was thinking - why don't I just scare the hell out of her in giving her a present that reflects her 'good taste' and over the top behaviour ?
I just saw this wonderful book the other day, at Copyright, the bookstore that is housed in the Momu building, and I think it will hit the spot I am targeting...
Who knows, she will be so surprised and wonder what the hell I was thinking in buying this specific gift for her...maybe she just keeps her mouth shut the entire day/evening wondering...

Good idea or good idea ?

These are for me and my beloved ones...no such books for 'evil family'...

1 comment:

diane said...

I think she might really enjoy the pop-up book. You could always tell her you've just joined the Jehovah's Witnesses, she'll do wide circles around you.

I loved your comments on Zibbs and Vic's pages. Your sense of humour is right on the money.